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| Photo taken 2000 |
Get ready folks, this is going to be one of those in depth, introspective blog posts.
As I near the end of my life or as the celebrities like to say when they're accepting their awards "my journey", I can pretty well see who and what matters in life. So here is my list in no particular order of who and what matters in my life and lessons learned.
Most many people are not what they seem.
Oh how I learned this lesson the hard way. I have to admit that most people in my life are good. However, there are those who let me down big time. Some of those stories I have previously written about in my blog posts but lately I've decided not to write about them any more. Suffice it to say, when I needed their help, they ditched me for their own gain. Some I remained friends with but on a different level, more like an acquaintance.
Respect yourself.
If you don't respect yourself how do you expect others to respect you. Yes, I know this is a song lyric by the Staple Singers but it is true. For the longest time I didn't respect myself due to a failure of parenting by my father. Thank goodness I had a good mother who taught me right from wrong and not to ever lie and to respect authority. Maybe the "respect authority" thing has changed since I've grown more mature but she did teach me the correct basics. That was a considerable accomplishment on her part because she had a horrible childhood herself, having lost her Mother to childbirth before she was two years old. Her father was a philanderer and basically useless as a father figure.
Go with your instincts.
Almost always when I have gone with my instincts I have chosen the correct path. Of course there were a few exceptions but wishful thinking doesn't do it, instincts do. Oh the stories I could tell of the disasters and near disasters when I went against my instinct.
Be kind, always.
This comes automatic to me. Again, the way my Mother raised me. Those times when I wasn't kind, and yes, even the saintly me at times hasn't been kind, it's come back to bite me in the ass. Yes, you can be kind. Don't be a fool but be kind, even to those you don't like and even despise. For instance I despise with an almost immeasurable hatred of Trump the Criminal and those cowardly elected Republicans who continue to empower Trump because they are afraid of Trump and his supporters. Those Republicans are the Quislings of our generation. They are to patriots but very small people who put their selfish interests before our country and their constituents. Believe me, Trump will eventually get what he deserves and so will those Republicans. As for the supporters of Trump, they're beyond help. There will always be a segment of our population who ware easily brainwashed and or just plain prejudiced against anything or anyone who is different from their cloistered lives. I understand why they are afraid of change and Nancy Pelosi but really folks?
Be content and happy with what you have.
Again, as my Mother often reminded me and my brothers when we were growing up and didn't want to finished those mushy string beans on our dinner plate "There are people starving in China."I still have trouble throwing food away. The only way I can justify it is by telling myself it one way or another that food will end up as waste by going through my body or out in in the compost pile. Still, I think if my Mother was alive today and saw the amount of food I still throw away she would be mortified.
Some of the happiest memories of my lifetime are those days growing up in the Forties and Fifties when we were literally dirt poor. Of course we knew we were poor but most everyone else was too. Kids have a way of enjoying play wherever it be down by the railroad tracks or just in the street. No fancy play dates of extravagant birthday parties for the Tipton Boys on Washington Avenue, Downingtown, Pennsylvania. We never missed what we didn't have. The one time we came close was when we were out exploring one hot and humid summer day and followed the sounds of laughter and came upon a summer camp with a swimming pool for the city kids (Philadelphia). As we looked down from our nearby wooded hill location of those kids (all black, I often wondered weren't there any white inner city kids?) frolicking in the massive swimming pool of the camp, we wondered why we couldn't be there. We actually LIVED in the fabled "country" where these inner city kids were brought for a summer camp. I never dipped my toes in a swimming pool until I was twenty years old at the gated swimming pool at the NCO club at Ft. Meade, Maryland when I was in the Army. I never saw the shore (Atlantic Ocean) until I was twenty-two years old. So much for the "privileged" suburban white kid life.
Other than that one blip of reality, our years of growing up in the poor white trash section of Downingtown was pretty happy. I really can't complain. Other than missing jumping in a cool swimming pool during those hot muggy summer days, we had a fabulous childhood. We had plenty of friends, and always something to do. I can never remember once being bored. A special treat for me was every now and then I got to spend a week or two in the "county" with a relative. Oh how I remember those days. I will write about those experiences in a future blog, if I haven't already.
Always strive to be the best at anything you do.
We all have talents. Every one of us has something we do really well. Maybe we would like to have a talent in another field but we don't. It's just a fact. I'm good at organizing and pushing papers around. Nothing sexy about that "talent" at all one would say. True! But that's what I'm good at. And my adult career that how I ended up after initially drifting. Some other good people in my life saw that talent in me and gave me job opportunities which I took advantage of. I will be forever grateful to them for their kindness and giving me the opportunity for a good life, which I have had. There are talents I wish I had like artistic talent. Drawing pictures or playing a musical instrument. It was not to be. I'm tall but I can't play basketball. I was a klutz and almost always the last one to be chosen when they picked for teams in gym. By the way do they still do that in high school gym class? Talk about a demoralizer. One time the team captains picked their teams and NO ONE choose me! They all ran out on the field and I was left standing there by myself. Which brings up my last very valuable piece of advice.
Be resilient.
No matter how many curve balls have been thrown at you.
No matter how many times you have been humiliated.
No matter how many times you have been discounted, disrespected and disregarded; get up and come back stronger than ever.
At times I've wondered why I did and I keep coming up with the same answer. "What was the alternative?" To give up? Never. NEVER!
Always remember that each one of is totally unique. There never was nor will there ever been anyone quite like us on this earth or in this life.
I've always believed in myself. I didn't need some artificial man made "God" in the sky to help me through life. I mean no respect to those who are follow man made religious customs, if that give you comfort, more power to you. I am truly happy for you. Some of my best friends are "religious" and they are good people. But that path is not for me. I don't need those smug self righteous Christian folks proselytizing me to "save my soul". I respond to those useless entreaties by telling them "I'll taking care of myself, you take care of yourself." I've seen too many Christian hypocrites in my lifetime to care. I've always believed that if there is a God (and that is very debatable) he (or she) resides within this soul that inhabits our physical body.
The best thing in life is love.
We all need food, water, and shelter in life. We also need protection from harm. But to me the most rewarding aspect of life is love. If you are lucky enough to find true love in life, cherish it.
There are different kinds of love. I'm not talking about a mother's love for her offspring. I'm talking about connecting with one (or more) human beings during your lifetime. To love and be loved is the absolute best thing in life. More than fame and fortune. Think of all those famous and rich people who could never find true love. That is one thing that always amazed me. People who have looks, fame and fortune and could never find true love. Maybe it is better to be of average looks and modest income and talent, and a nobody. That's me. All of those factors and guess what folks? I have found love. In fact I found it twice!
Life has been good to me. I am so thankful. Maybe someday I'll find out who sent me here. But if I never do and when I die it's just oblivion, a big black dark nothing hole. Well, one thing I know for sure. I couldn't have asked for a better life than I have lived for the past eighty-one years. So many wonderful memories that I relive over and over again in head. Especially now at the end of my life as I review this wonderful life that Someone has granted me. And when I die, which I surely will do one day, and if there is a Heaven, as I cross the Rainbow Bridge, I will greet all those who have passed before me and I will ask "Wasn't that something?"
