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| It was a decades (over fifty years) each but I finally found him! |
Ten years ago I met the man I was looking for all my life.
All my life I was looking for this man. You say "But what about Bill?"
Regular followers of this blog will know the story of me and Bill. Bill pursued me for quite a long time when I was twenty-two years old. Initially I didn't like Bill. He would send me drinks across the bar every time he was in the same bar I was in. Finally, one rainy Saturday night I felt guilty and I went over to thank him for all the drinks (I was very poor at the time). Much to my surprise I found out he was a very nice guy. Handsome and popular but still not my type which I told him every time he asked me to move in with him. Finally, I agreed to move in with him more out of convenience for both of us than love. Bill traveled a lot with his job at RCA. He would be gone for months at a time. I also wanted a job in center city Philadelphia which I eventually got. Moving in with Bill I could save on rent (I foolishly took a pay cut with my new banking job from $90 week to $70 a week). Bill would have someone to look after his garden apartment in Pennsauken, New Jersey; just over the bridge from Philadelphia. I turned down his request to move in with him many times. I didn't want to be "held back" while I looked for Mr. Right. He told me I had all the freedom I needed and/or wanted. He said "A caged bird never sings."With that promise I moved in with Bill in February 1965. And true to his word, Bill never "held me back." He only asked that I be discreet in my search. And I was.
However, something funny happened over the years. I grew to love Bill. Even if he wasn't "my type", I discovered I loved him. I could never leave him, which I threatened to do many times when we had a big fight, often over silly things.
From 1965 on to 2013 I had many affairs. Some I almost left Bill but the objects of my affections either turned out to be bums, con artists, or married. The two married men I truly loved but they didn't want to leave their wives or family, which I understood. And also, I didn't want to live a life of being a "mistress." I wanted to be the sole person in that other person's life.
For many years I looked for Mr. Right in all the wrong places, literally. Who was Mr. Right? Generally I'm physically attracted to a guy about 5'8 and 140 lbs, on the nerdy side. Shy, caring, smart, strong, and intelligent. I never was attracted to the Hollywood Swimmer type like Troy Donahue. Of course I encountered a lot of "nerdy" types during my years long search but none of them worked out.
My years of searching was either someone was interested in me and I wasn't interested in them or vice versa. Never a CLICK!
Then, purely by serendipity, I met Pat. Ironically I met him through this blog even though he wasn't a blog follower. Mine or anyone else's.
Pat just happened to see a photo of my on the Internet sitting in the gallery at the Delaware State Legislature waiting to testify for same sex marriage.
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| Me sitting in the gallery at the Delaware State Legistlaturewaiting to testify for same sex marriage |
He didn't know anything about me except my name. He looked up my name on the Internet and found my blog. He left a comment on my blog which led to us doing FaceTime. At that time I still didn't know he was The One. He was just a nice guy who contacted me by my blog like others have done.
He told me he was preparing to retired from his job with the Tornonto Police Department (yes, he's Canadian) and wanted to take a holiday. He suggested visiting me. I said "sure" but no way was he going to stay here at this house. I don't know him or any others via my blog except Spo and Sean (Sassy Bear). Besides, Bill doesn't like visitors in the house staying overnight.
Pat arranged to visit Lewes August 16th. I arranged a hotel reservation for him which he paid for.
While working outback in our backyard I get a call from him that afternoon stating his hotel reservation wasn't there. WHAT? I made that reservation!
I thought this was a ruse to stay here at our house. No way was that going to happen. I told Pat I would drive down to Lewes (four miles away) and check what happened with his reservation. As I pull up in the parking lot of the hotel I see they guy approaching my car. I thought "WTF? This parking lot attendant going to give me grief over parking?" Me, who works at another hotel in Lewes and frequently have non hotel guest park in OUR parking lot? Really? So I move my car to a farther location. This guy FOLLOWS me. Now I'm really pissed. "WTF?"So there I am, scowling at this guy as he approaches my car. He's smiling and then says"Are you Ron?" Initially I'm confused. "How does he know my name?"Then dumb me, it clicks. This must be Pat. I never saw what he looked like full body before. I only saw his head. I just assumed he was one of the several folks who I had talked to on FaceTime over the years. Pat has an Everyman look (why he's so good at his part-time job as a movie extra). I didn't recognize him out of context. When I realized who he was, we had a good laugh over my misconception. But at that time I still was guarded about his "no hotel reservation." However, when we went to the hotel, they DID make a mistake. His reservation was for the NEXT night! Still, Pat needed a place to stay for that night. That's where I walked him over to a nearby hotel called The Beacon Motel. Not as swanky as the hotel where I made his reservation (Hotel Blue) but still nice if more beachy hotel (sand granules on the floors).
Pat made his reservation at The Beacon Motel. I asked him to dinner later and told him I would come down to meet him and we would walk to downtown Lewes to Cafe Azafran. As I was leaving him I noticed him walking away from me. "Wait a minute!" I watched him walk and I liked what I saw. I'm big on the way someone walks. As I was watching him he turned to look at me and this was the picture I took of him. 
When I realized Pat was The One. He on his way to the Beacon Motel. This is who I was looking for my whole adult life!
At that moment I realized
THIS WAS THE ONE!
I liked this guy!
That was ten years ago today folks. What a ten years it has been! I've had a wonderful life with Bill but there was a lot I didn't do that I wanted to do with Bill. One of the main things being is travel. Bill doesn't like to travel. When I traveled I traveled by myself. Bill went with me once (to Provincetown) but stayed in his motel room the whole time.
Also, something else I was very attracted to Pat physically. To me he's hot! That walk! His manner! His personality! And to top everything else off, we have a LOT in common. Bill and I don't. Pat was like another version of ME. We often joke that in a past life we were the amoeba. In fact check out Pat's Amoeba T-shirt he wore that momentous day.
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| Pat's "Amoeba" T-shirt - Pat in Lewes August 16, 2016 |
Today is the tenth anniversary of our meeting that day. The past ten years of my friendship with Pat have been a dream come true for me.
Pat is everything I was looking for in someone when I first embarked on looking for Mr. Right.
Coincidentally Pat just called me on FaceTime. These days we often talk several times a day on FaceTime and text each other every day. For the past ten years and before COVID we used to get together four times a year for our trips to California (LA and Palm Springs), Philadelphia, and Canada. COVID put a stop to those trips and now that I am a full-time caregiver for Bill he past two and a half years I've only seen Pat in person once. That was about this time last year that Pat came down to help me with my cataract surgery. Pat is planning on visiting again this summer, hopefully before the days get too short.
Happy Anniversary Pat!