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| Bill this morning |
Good morning longtime blog followers, friends of mine.
Bill's medical condition continues to deteriorate.
These are the developments that have occurred since I last posted about Bill's medical condition.
His dementia has worsened. Whereas before he was "out of it" (Sundowner's) at about four o'clock in the afternoon (after I got up from my nap), now he slips into confusion around noontime.
His dementia isn't like Alzheimer's because he does have moments of lucidity. Yesterday, when the representative from hospice was here (she was here to maybe put Bill back on hospice but Bill didn't qualify this time because the doctor says he can "walk the stairs"), she told me that Bill probably has "vascular dementia." That is different vascular components of his brain are failing thus the rapid change (rather than gradual) in Bill's cognitive abilities. For instance, two days ago when Bill went to the bathroom he pulled up his pant legs instead of pulling his pants down to take a pee. Then he was all confused and fell (probably slipped) on the floor where he sits in the sunroom most of the day. We woke me from my afternoon nap.
By the way, I apologize in advance for my narrative if it isn't in strict chronological order. So much has been happened in the past week or so in Bill's condition.
After I got Bill up and organized, I feed him his usual egg not protein rich concoction. He's having even more trouble swelling even that pure liquid now. Shortly thereafter he went to bed around six PM.
At three AM in the morning I heard Alexa playing music in the kitchen. I rounded the corner from my bedroom to the kitchen and there was Bill sitting in his sunroom chair waiting for his "dinner." Bill has got his times backwards. I checked and this was another symptom of dementia. I couldn't' convince him that it was three AM in the morning so I just sat with him for awhile. Later I went to bed and got up around 8 AM.
I called his VA home healthcare provider and informed her of the changes in Bill. She called the hospice to get him back on. But as I said they turned Bill down because he "can climb the stairs."
Bill still manages to go to the bathroom by himself but he gets things backwards now. I don't want to gross you all out but let's just say all the pee isn't going in the toiled. He gets more on himself and clothing and Depends than he does the toilet. Yes, it is gross and something which I dreaded when this caregiving job landed on me. The toilet stuff. I hate it but as my late cousin Bud Tipton advised me when I asked him for advice (he was his mother's caregiver for a number of years and he had to deal with the colostomy bag changing), "Ronnie, you do what you have to do." And I do. However, I do take Bill's urine soaked Depends and put them in a box and put them in my garden shed so his bedroom and our house doesn't smell like a gay bar bathroom at the end of Saturday night festivities.
Bill is at the end of his life. I am very sad even contemplating not having Bill around anymore in my life. But Bill has actually been exiting very slowly for the past three years. He's not the Bill he used to Bill for most of our fifty-nine years together. I can no longer share neighborhood gossip with him (oh I DO miss that). He can no longer do his projects (many of which were of a great help around our house). And I just miss his zest for life. He's not the same Bill I've known for lo these many years. But still, there will be a huge void in my life when his presence is no longer in this house or my life.
But at times like this I think of the positive too. He's not in excruciating pain. He is uncomfortable with the sores on his but cheeks which I treat twice a day but he's not in awful pain. For that I am very thankful. Also, he knows who I am.
HE KNOWS WHO I AM.
So folks, if I don't post as often as I used to please understand that I'm dealing with this new situation as best as I can. My goal is to keep Bill here at home, a home he loves so much, and comfortable until his time comes to leave this life.