New Dawn

 Yesterday was a Sad Saturday. 

Rain in he morning. 

Me late yesterday afternoon after the rain stopped and the sun came out.

Overcast in the afternoon.

The sun finally made an appearance in the later afternoon. Thus the picture of Sad Ron at the beginning of this blog post.

Yesterday was a week since Bill died. 

The reality is that I'll never see him again in my life. 

When I received the phone call, which I was expecting, early last Saturday morning, I felt out of body. 

This past week has been a whirlwind. At time I felt like I was sleepwalking through the steps one takes after a loved one dies. My experience was like I was looking down above at me just going through the necessary motions to do the necessary and get through another day. Yesterday, a quiet, rainy Saturday would have been one of thousands that I spent with Bill over the past fifty-nine years. Yesterday I was so alone. I could feel myself slipping into melancholy and self pity. I tried to reassure myself that Bill is in a much better place now. He suffered so much, so much, during his final days, weeks, months and three years on this earth. I do believe he kept himself alive because he didn't want to leave me alone. That is exactly the kind of person he was, totally unselfish and caring for me. 

Thank goodness I have my friend Glenn M. to talk too when I get in these down periods. I usually talk to Pat but he was with his bandmates rehearsing all day and unavailable. To remind you about Glenn, he also lost his long time partner three years ago. His partner Mike used to follow my blog Glenn had sent me a card three years ago, the very day Bill was airlifted to Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia with a brain concussion. When I returned home that night I didn't think I would ever see Bill again. But Fate shone a good light on me and give me Bill for another three years, even though it was at great sacrifice for Bill. 

Glenn still misses his partner Michael,

Glenn and Michael