Casa Tipton-Kelly is getting company.
Pat is driving down from his home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada this Sunday to visit yours truly.
I tell you I could use some company. This old house has been much too quiet since Bill died. Sometimes I can hardly stand it. I think I'm going good then I'll see something that reminds me of Bill and I'm setback. Yesterday that reminder was his tie dyed colored Crocs. His "outside shoes." I half expect Bill to come through the door at anytime to try and put on his Crocs. He had trouble the last few years because of his eyesight and cognitive decline. I often had to help him put them on his feet.
I had another reminder of Bill yesterday. I mowed our grass for the first time this season. Bill liked to sit on our back deck and watch me mow circles in our almost acre back yard. I would often wave to him as I swung by close to our back deck where he would sit. Sadly, his chair is empty now.
Over the past three years while I was taking care of Bill, helping him take a shower, dressing him, taking care of his wounds, administering his medications, preparing his food for him; I had imagined what life would be like when I could just get up in the morning and only take care of myself. Now I'm there and to be truthful, I miss taking care of Bill. One thing I will be forever grateful for though is that I had the opportunity to take care of Bill. I had two wishes in my lifetime was that my Mother would never go into a healthcare facility (she didn't, my late brother and his wife took care of her) or Bill would have to spend his final days in one of those facilities. Taking care of Bill wasn't actually that bad until the last two and a half weeks of his life. It got rough then folks and again I will be forever grateful that hospice came to our rescue so Bill could pass peacefully. My new routine of just taking care of myself in the morning is going to take some getting used to.
Pat's visit will be good for me. Get my mind off of poor me and taking steps towards my new life without Bill. I feel that Bill is somewhere now where he is very happy and finally unburdened with all his ailments during the last three years of his life.