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| Little Ronnie T. 1942, I was a cute kid wasn't I? Lot of water under the bridge since this photo was taken right before my first haircut. Speaking of which, I need another haircut. Yes, I still have hair and it's not snow white (thank goodness!) |
Last night at the stroke of midnight I entered my 84th year of this years making a wide path for my spirit's incarnation this time around.
I don't know how many more years I have left but what I can say unequivocally is that in this incarnation learning experience (and that's where we are here, to LEARN until we get it right) my life has been quite a journey. So good in so many ways, the best gift was having almost sixty years with my life partner Bill Kelly who died earlier this year at ninety-five years of age.
Bill has contacted me often since he left his earthly body and his spirit returned to his heavenly home by flickering on one of the burned out Christmas lights in our living room. I put those light up for him about four years ago when his lost his sight to macular degeneration. He couldn't see out the center of his eyes but he had peripheral vision and could see colors. We always had Christmas lights up in our living room and sun room which I took down in January. That year Bill asked me to leave them up because he liked the colors. I've done that every since and even now that he's gone I continue to leave them up in his memory.
When we knew Bill was dying we often talked about that if there is "something" after you die, for him to contact me. He said he would. About a week after he died, I was in our kitchen preparing a meal when my peripheral vision was distracted by one of the burned out Christmas lights that was in my direct line of vision. That was so unusual because that light had been out for months and even when the lights were on, they didn't flicker.
At first I thought it was a short in the wire but after a minute of two of flickering I "got it!" Bill was an election by trade and this was his was of contacting me. Since that time he's contacted me many times, especially during stressful periods.
The last two months or so the light has been out. I even mentioned it to Pat that Bill hadn't contacted me for about two months. Then yesterday I had a very stressful confrontation with an acquaintance that I had to hang up the phone and block his calls. I won't go into the details other to say he's an ass and I've tolerated him enough. I need to get toxic people out of my life. Right after my blowup I felt my blood pressure rise. I took my blood pressure and it was 182! I've never had blood pressure that high. I'm usually 120 of 70. Lately I've been up in the 140's but I contributed that to the stress of this presidential campaign. But over 180?! I'm going to have a stroke over this guy who is trying to interfere in my life? Who talks and shouts over me and doesn't listen and interfere with my relationship with Pat? I only mention this because the confrontation wasn't over politics. As a matter of fact he has the same political views I have but every thing else about him is antithetical to me. When he talks he shouts. He asks questions then give me a chance to answer, instead shouting over me. I felt used to feel sorry for him because I know he lives alone and is probably lonely but he would never admit that. I've known him since the late 70's. He was a friend of my good friend Bob Mc. We lost touch for about thirty years then after Bill died he started calling me on the phone.
I.AM.NOT.AVAILABLE!
Well, I really veered off of my birthday blog post didn't I? Let's see if I can all these words together at the end of this post. I don't know how much time I have left, the past eighty-three years have been glorious and I sure as hell and not going to have a heart attack or stroke dealing with a toxic person in my life.
I was so upset last night (getting back to Bill's way of contacting me) that when I went into my kitchen to have a slice of that apple pie I made earlier in the week, I saw.....you guessed it....that yellow light flicker off. YES! That's Bill giving me comfort.