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| July 2023 (our 59th anniversary) |
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. This will be the first Thanksgiving in sixty years that I will be without Bill. Sad times here folks.
What will I be doing? Staying here at home by myself. Don't feel sad for me, this is the way I prefer to spend my Thanksgiving. I will be will Bill's spirit tomorrow.
Bill's spirit is often with me. His spirit gives me immense comfort. He is always with me.
Maybe I'm fooling myself. Maybe I'm going crazy. Whatever, what I do know is that when Bill is with me I feel a wave of love wash over me from head to toe. Works for me.
During Bill's last year of life we often talked about how I would manage once Bill was gone. I assured him that I would be "all right." I lied of course. I was scared facing this unknown territory but I didn't want Bill to worry. Bill was so tired of living but he didn't want to leave me. I think know now that our last year together was the closest we've ever been in our nearly sixty years of living together.
This year I am so thankful for many things.
I am thankful that I can still live independently.
I am thankful that I can still drive.
I am thankful that I don't have dementia.
I am thankful that I still have my eyesight.
I am thankful that I can swallow my food.
All of those above Bill didn't have during his last few years of life.
The main thing I am thankful for is that I was able to care for Bill during his last three years of his life after his strokes on January 12th and January 14th of 2021. I was able to keep him here at his home which he loved so much and that we were able to be together.
I am one lucky man.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I hope all of you have someone to love and who loves you as much as Bill and I had with each other.
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| July 2019, two years before Bill's strokes |